Torn

Torn - what a pretty word that trickles
Off the tongue, like honey suckles
But in reality, its being pulled apart
By unseen forces, they tear and cut

One's already in the glass jar
The other dangling below the bar
In the same vein one's struggle
Is another one's gain

I stare beyond the ceiling
Beyond the tears of porcelain
Because being torn is much more than
Grinding boulders to finely grained sand

How do I lift you up in my too small palm
As the undertaker carries you off to embalm
Your lifeless body in the cold cold room
To feel guilty it was I that caused your doom

But I'm sorry it's all too late
Call me stupid, silly or fake
Perhaps I'm just loch nest monster
Lost at the bottom of Scotland's lake

I wish I could pull you out
But your dreams all shattered and visions clout
Block out my screams of assistance
To your heart lost in the distance

May you find the happiness you deserve

Someone else's toxic

Like strings of silken pearls,
The words roll out, the flag unfurls
They cannot be retrieved,
Nor minced or sieved
Like a ripple across the heart
To stomach the words, the hardest part

The sun catcher dusty and forgotten
Mint condition nothing broken
Except it's heart, cold and lifeless
Waiting for another cold blooded curse
Because it what it is, this neglected kiss
And when it's gone then you'll start to miss

My heart's ringing of a phantom pain
One the surface fine but nothing's the same
Because you eyes have turned cold
And every stare has a story to be told
But I don't want to ask anymore
There's no reason for tears to more

Not today, not ever

Of Raindrops and Broken Umbrellas

Because things of the old will never be good enough
It tumbles and dries - all rough and tough
The shadows of yonder recede into the stiffled laughs
My hands bleed from the tightened cuffs

It goes through the hammer anvil and stirrup
But not once do the sounds echo - or even ever register
The blue liquid overspills the borders of the cup
Maybe I wish them away, sweep them under

And so the salt dries on the sand bank
The sea weeds dead, the grime settled and sank
The water seems clear, almost crystal like a smile
But maybe only for that while...

Maybe all I was asking for were words far too taboo
Maybe in my mind I was scared of hearing them too
To plead and ask for another breath
Is there anything to give - anything left

We look but don't see
We talk but never perceive
The invisible tears and broken walls
The fateful day the Berlin falls

Of raindrops and broken umbrellas
Of broken bicycles and catastrophized cars
Mangled in the ruins of a tomorrow just a minute away
Again I hear the all too familiar beep

... and all over again drift off to sleep ...

My Very Own Wonderland

To have lost the most precious thing,
But to have found another
Was the trade of worth this inkling
That maybe through loss we find solace
From the depths of the now broken curse

So it seems to me the journey is new
Many trod down, but to survive, a few
And I look around at all the carcasses
This fate, some have had it worst
But was it really worth the heartache

Maybe the most precious thing has been lost
And I have to fool myself of a noble cause
To continue to walk down this road
And the tales of life slowly unfold
To eyes that have not seen the glitteratti

And I look at you and wonder if one day
Maybe I'll look back from the podium below
And point like the others, and reminisce
The story that had long gone cold
And lost to another polished diamond

Then I look down and tell myself
It was all worth it if for that moment
I experienced my very own fairytale
In my very own wonderland
Where Alice never sheds a tear...

Velcro

The water drips down,
Each patient for its turn;
Each owning that very second
Each with that moment to shine

I can only stare
With eyes wide open
Sucking in the moment
Into the abysses of my soul

Something I thought happened to someone else
Fell right into my arms
Onto my lap
And actually sat still, not squirming
I pinch myself

Then I think it's a dream
I pinch myself harder
Because this cannot be true
Nothing ever is so perfect
As perfect as you

So I stare at the star sprinkled skies
Watching the fairies fly
A shooting star falls
Yet another heart is broken
And I am angry I am fragile

The is something about the "we"
It scares the hell out me
Because 2 can be broken
Or ripped apart
As easily as they can be velcro-ed

Isn't it all but velcro
Comes loose when pulled apart
The transcience of the moment
The belonging that is no more yours
Whether or not you like it

I felt it once, I returned it once
We're even now
And so I find myself velcro-ed
Once again to the very thing I fear
Could once again rip this fragile being apart

Wholy Holy Matrimony

I count them on my right hand
Then move on to my left
Hardly sufficient, there's more than 10
I try to understand that it isn't theft
Of one's time, money and emotions

Every guy seems to be on his knee
Every girl swoons in the white white gown
Now, no not me, later - perhaps, maybe
Doesn't it just freak you out,
No i don't smile, it makes me frown

Under one roof, 24/7
It's just part and parcel of growing up
And no I don't think it'll be heaven
No, not me, siree, not yet
But all about love, it's hardly even that

Nonetheless, big up for you
For daring to leap blindfolded - almost
One day maybe I'll be like that too
But for now I'd rather boast
About my very carefree life, thank you

Be right back

I'm reconstructing the face of some bugger...